St. Rita "Be Careful What You Wish for...You Might Get it."

St. Rita at Chris Hart Studio

I have spent much of my life wishing for something that never happened.  Thank goodness!  I have found over the years that the things I dream about are sometimes best left as dreams, where I can savor the fantasy rather than deal with the reality. St. Rita reminds us to be cautious of thoughtlessly wishing for things that bring with them unforeseen problems.  I have become acutely  aware of unintended consequences that result from decisions I blithely make throughout my day.  Some are easy to work around or simple to solve but sometimes I misjudge the seriousness of what can happen, leaving me wishing I had known then what I know now.

St. Rita is one of my favorite saints.  She is the Patron Saint of Impossible Dreams and Difficult Situations.  She is the saint to pray to for challenging circumstances, infertility, victims of spousal abuse, the forgotten, widows, against loneliness and bodily ills.   She is usually painted in a black nun's habit holding the crucifix with a small red dot called a stigmata on her forehead  As St. Rita meditated on the image of Christ, a small wound appeared on her forehead as if the Crown of Thorns encircled her head. For 15 years she bore the stigmata, the symbol of her dedication to the Divine.  Throughout her life she saw her prayers granted under terribly painful circumstances but she never lost faith.         

St. Rita Statue from Chris Hart Studio

My mother used to say "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it". Now I know she was channeling St. Rita.  Once I wished I didn't have to go to school and the next morning I woke up with a horrible fever and had to go to the doctor instead.  Another time when I was married, I wished my husband would get fit, lose some weight and quit smoking..  When he did, it seemed every attractive woman was flirting with him and I found myself complaining and insecure, wishing I hadn't opened that Pandora's box.. Once I was in the midst of fantasizing about a career change and suddenly it happened for me in a most disturbing and uncontrollably painful way. I got the new career.  Along with it came several years of reassessment and introspection and emotional recovery. While I would say now it was something I am grateful happened, it was still personally agonizing .       

In spite of wishing to become a nun, St Rita married a very cruel man and had twin sons.  She prayed for her husband to stop abusing her.  Her beatings ended when her husband was killed in a violent murder.  Her sons were obligated to avenge their father’s death but St. Rita prayed that her sons would not commit the sin of murder. She convinced them to join the army and go far away.  It was during this time they contracted the flu and both died.  It was after these events that St. Rita was finally accepted as an Augustinian nun. So in a sense, St. Rita got what she wanted....Her husband stopped beating her.  Her sons were not murderers.  She became a nun.  Her prayers were answered but her dreams were shattered.  That’s what my mom meant when she warned “Be careful what you wish for.....”   

It is so easy to want things to be different and to pine away for things you don't have without any regard for what may happen once you get them.  That's why I keep St. Rita near my bed.  At the end of my day she is a reminder to not casually wish for things to be different, for people I am upset with to be silenced, for big changes in job or relationships.   She reminds me to be in the moment, grateful for what is and hopeful for the future.  To wish for something else diminishes where we are.  It exposes us to the potential of unintended consequences that significant change can bring.  Sometimes the gain is tiny while the losses are huge and sometimes the risk and pain are worth it.  Wishes are prayers, not to be taken lightly.  St. Rita makes us thoughtful and aware of what comes to us when our dreams collide with reality.